Mother Worries

I worry about silly things.

I’ve always been a worrier, it’s a trait I inherited from my mom’s side if the family, but once I had kids those worries multiplied and sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about them. Sometimes sleep does not come easy.

In the mornings, when I leave the kids with Nana TV, and go take my shower I always leave the windows shut. Even on those days that just beg for all the windows to be open. You see I am afraid of one of the kids looking out the window, pressing on the screen while they do and falling two stories to the driveway below.

When we go for a ride in the car I think about how all my kids are seated and I silently come up with a plan on how to get them all out of the car should it suddenly burst into flames or fall into a lake. I worry about a car hitting the side and injuring my babies.

While they eat their meals I watch them out the corner of my eye, making sure they are taking small bites and chewing properly so they don’t choke.

The nights where no one wakes up or no audible noises come from their monitors I worry that they are still breathing.

At the playground I have to keep myself from holding their hands as they climb, crawl and swing on the various equipment because I fear they may fall off.

I constantly have to remind myself I need to let go, that in order to grow we have to be able to experience things on our own and we even have to experience the pain of being hurt sometimes.

That’s the hardest thing for me, letting go and not trying to protect them from everything. I want to be able to shield them from all the pain in the world and keep them safe.

I need to remember: If I never let my children take that first step from the nest, they will never learn to fly.

Lacey
I'm a California native who planted her roots in Texas, and am happily raising four little nerds with my big nerd. When I'm not cuddled on the couch with them watching Doctor Who or Star Wars I can be found getting my work completed for my BFA in Creative Writing, reading, baking, or crafting. Find me on Instagram @lilmissnerdgirl!
Lacey
Egg drop today at school. The fall was a lot further than we had tested, but Irelyn's egg did not… http://t.co/sfGABEUEFG - 5 days ago
Lacey
Lacey

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Comments

  1. It is so hard not to worry where our children are concerned! I think that’s only natural. But I love your last statement “If I never let my children take that first step from the nest, they will never learn to fly.” It’s just hard to see that they are growing up sometimes and must take those steps! :)

  2. I worried before I had kids now I am just crazy. I do all of the above things you mentioned so your not alone mama.

  3. Found you through the new linky followers blog hop. I’m so happy to be your newest follower, it would be great if you follow me back. :)

    And, on Friday I’ll be hosting a “What does your blog want to be when it grows up” blog hop with a few of my blog buddies … have you thought of your blog’s hopes and dreams?

    Please check it out here…http://thespacebetweenblog.wordpress.com/2012/02/27/when-im-five/

    Karah
    thespacebetweenblog.wordpress.com

  4. So true. We need to let them become independent or they’ll never be able to fly on their own, but I totally hear you. I’m a worrier too. Hard to let go of that hyper vigilance when it’s just the way we are!

    Following you on Linky Followers (finally hopping by from the vB event)!

  5. These feelings are all normal. Your children are still young yet. You’ll grow out of it somewhat as your children grow because they will force you to by the statement “Mom, I can do it by myself.” These words are deafening, but at the same time profound! Our children are God greatest gifts to us, so we can’t help but to be overly concern about their welfare. However, when our little chirps are ready to fly on their own a bit they will in more ways then one let us know. Especially, the daughters. In the words of my 12 year old “Mom, I love it when you want to help me out, but I want to do it by myself so that I know what I’m doing.” Then I step back and smile, because even though I still have the urge to help just knowing she has the ability to figure it out gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

  6. This reminds me of when I was newly married…..I had never been happier…and when my husband was five minutes late I would be so worried that he got in a car crash or some other major catastrophe. That has mellowed out over time…but I still worry a lot about my kids and their stuff. Comes with the territory I guess. Have a great night!