I have no control! Facebook is deciding what I want to see in my News Feed even after I tell it I don’t want to see certain things. I’m writing a little letter to the Facebook News Feed, so it knows how I feel.
May I call you FNF? I feel like we are buddies. I’ve been consulting you pretty much on a daily basis since early 2009. I really appreciate all you’ve done for me and I have stuck by you through your many, many makeovers.
I have to admit, a lot of the makeovers I thought were horrible at first, but then they grew on me. Much like that bad haircut my friend had several years ago.
Anyhow, I am writing you now because I have a bone to pick with you. You know how I like to hide certain activities and updates from certain friends? You know, those friends who fall into the obligatory-I-don’t-feel-I-can-delete-them category? The ones who seemingly post every fifteen minutes, who talk all about how awesome their kids and/or pets are in every other post and how fantastic they are doing with their weight loss, and provide me their complete menu for every meal and then come back to let me know how they felt after they ate it? Well, there is one friend in particular and I have hidden all but their “important” updates and I’ve asked you to hide all of their comments and likes on the statuses and photos of people I have no connection with. So I’m wondering, why do I need to know that they like the picture of a small, fuzzy puppy that their great great aunt in Alaska just bought? Really.
I bet you’re going to write back, FNF, and that you are going to tell me that I should just remove this person as a friend if I don’t want to see their updates. But I will just write back and ask why you even have those options available if they don’t work when I use them. Plus, when I see this person at my 20-year high school reunion in six years, I don’t want to have to make up some story about why I removed them as my friend on Facebook. No. Really. They are the type of person that will remember, and call me out on it.
So please, please, please FNF. Please respect my wishes when I tell you that I would like to “unsubscribe from comments and likes by so-and-so.” Please.
Your buddy, Lacey